At times, I feel God has plans for everyone. If you don’t believe in the adage “man makes his own destiny,” then you are left with the option of believing in some incomprehensible force that gets things done for you. It is hard not to wonder how you are nothing but a mere element in God’s preconceived notion.

Not everyone is born with the right emotional quotient or with an apt level of understanding feelings, but then again, some are. Those who are capable walk a very different path than the imbeciles. The fortunate ones are chosen to feel the right emotions, to have a conscience, to grow one if not born with it, to be moulded by their circumstances, and to learn owing to their precise placement in their originally planned enclaves. The lucky ones are looked after as well until the completion of their duties. But that doesn’t mean they won’t face challenges. Bad curves are a part of life just as much as good curves are.

I often think about how They might have conceived my life too. That I was supposed to lose faith, go astray, and then walk a certain path to seek penance. I too could have been specifically chosen only because I had the resolve to pursue the toughest of paths unwaveringly and stick to it. I secretly imagine being deemed worthy by the Council as the one who understands, who feels, learns, and is capable enough to express. Having the right words when produced against a medium. My capacity to endure pain could have been presumed as well. Then the challenges could have been written like a writer building their protagonists.

For me to be born in a Hindu family often seems like the Lord wanted me to experience a particular culture and be shaped by it. Ram wanted me to feel the anguish of His separation from His other half. He wanted me to experience what giving up all worldly pleasures felt like. Krishna wanted me to discern love at a young age and then feel the tragedy of losing it. He wished for me to experience friendship too.

They needed me to truly experience the gift of having a family, to be loved by my parents. They want me to look after them and remain humble.

Shiva wanted me to feel grief, elation, sometimes nothing, and at times the power of meditation. Goddess Laxmi wanted me to feel abundance and marvel at beautiful creatures. Goddess Durga wanted me to feel sheltered, acknowledging and respecting the many brave ladies in my life. Bhairav and Kali acquainted me with the tales from the netherworld. Lord Hanuman wanted me to be courageous, loyal, and to culture an impenetrable resolve. Everyone wanted me to be able to distinguish good from bad.

I can’t help but wonder if our lives are only chunks of stories from the Ramayana or Mahabharata. We could be pursuing lives that have been lived over and over again. Things that we have experienced or are experiencing have been felt by everyone on this planet. Countless versions of us, since we are nothing but a collective limb of the Lord, have sometimes felt elated and sometimes felt depressed.

Maybe God wants us to experience every bit that they have ever experienced so that we too understand their predicament, their ecstasy, their pain, and their varied states of mind throughout our lives. If we truly believe in this way of living, we will be more understanding of every curve that life flings at us, acknowledging it to be a state once experienced by the Lord.

Life would be less painful in pain, ecstatic in elation.