I remember some time ago, chasing many dreams. Venturing out into battles, with whatever little I had. The bloke was hungry. He had seen blood dripping out of so many mouths, that he wanted to see how it felt like.
There was an insatiable pep in his caper, his claws out for a hunt, trying to get a piece of the elusive life, he had once built for himself. There was passion, drama, an invariable deprivation of sleep that swallowed him whole and feasted on his soul.
I am the same guy today, just a little complacent. I have tasted blood now, had my share of relish and gratified myself with some of their medicines.
I have had setbacks and fallouts, life showing me what it really takes for a dream to be turned into a coarse reality.
I will stay forever inspired by Gregory David Roberts, the bloke who wrote Shantaram and who had his entire manuscript destroyed by the prison wardens twice. It takes pluck having to start all over again.
It reminds me closely watching an ant, committed to take a morsel twice as heavy as its body, home. No matter how many times the ant would fall, it would always go back to the food to perform the entire chore all over again.
In the broader sense of perspective, even today, I haven’t let my guard down. I haven’t, for even a single second, let go of the vision I had once engraved for myself. My purpose in life, the giving back, the leaving behind, making my life count – they are all tucked inside comfortably in the back of my head.
It is just that, I have added on to my existing status quo with several other responsibilities. Today I find myself getting reeled in to more tasks and lesser hours. Reasoning with it, I would like to think of it as gathering resources. The more I gather, the easier it becomes for me to fulfil my dreams. Ultimately, I am setting up steps for me to climb.
I try to think of a time ahead when the dust would settle and I’d see the green for good. See the closing of the circles that are nothing but loose threads now. Then stow them away one by one, checking them off my list, then finally resting in peace.