Sometimes I feel that something is always working in my favor, as if there’s an invisible force protecting me, taking away my anxiety, regarding me in dire conditions, listening to my wants, and fulfilling them all. Situations I get anxious over are eliminated just like that. What I feel like having presents itself in front of me. My mood is perused, and it is as if the universe aligns to make things happen.

It is as if someone is constantly paying attention to me and easing my way, allowing me to be lucky. One day, I wondered about the face of God—how beautiful and handsome He must be if He were to present Himself in front of me. I thought He must look like an actor. That same night, or maybe another, I don’t remember, I had a dream of a famous actor giving me advice on how to be and how to live. Somewhere, something had caught onto that reckless thought and painted it in the dark echoes of my mind.

In another dream, I saw an orange monkey sitting cross-legged, comfortably in a field. I pointed out to someone, “Hey! Look, it’s an orange monkey! That’s so rare.” Suddenly, the monkey stood up and flew. For some reason, I wasn’t as surprised as I should have been. Then, out of the blue, I had an urge to give it something, as I generally do around animals and birds. I noticed I had a coconut in my hand, and I lifted it to offer. Suddenly, he swooped in to take it from my hand.

I still remember how calm and unfazed He seemed when He took accepted the offering from me. Even while waking up, as the dream lingered on the parapet of my mind, I was barely fascinated by it and dismissed it as just another dream. Until I realized what had happened. It dawned on me that it could have been none other than Lord Hanuman Himself. I was beyond overjoyed.

I have noticed quite often that if I am agitated and anxious due to a circumstance, chances are that circumstance is taken far away and presented only when I am not. Be it close calls or sometimes my reckless demeanor, I feel the presence of something that adjusts to keep me in check. I am still often reminded of this presence when I look at the time and all the digits are the same—11:11, 2:22, 1:11 or even 5:55.

I truly want to thank this invisible force that I didn’t know existed. I want to hug this angel so tight and remain eternally grateful for seeing me through tough days. I surmise that somewhere deep down, I understand the meaning of the same digits being shown to me. I guess I know that they intend to be noticed. I acknowledge their presence in my life, and I am extremely thankful to them for everything they have done, are doing and will continue to do for me. They are like my protector, guarding me and looking after me every step of the way.

I know how I feel when I am weeping. Every cell of my body seems to be squeezing out tears. I can feel them flooding my insides, and they don’t cease until a persistent thought fades away. Another thought flashes on the leaflet of my mind’s book, and I am squeezed some more. In those moments, I realize what I am doing to my otherwise calm and relaxed body. It wasn’t ready for this, yet the opportunity presents itself, taking away everything I had worked on. I can’t imagine the harm I might have done to myself when they say that a huge amount of stress hormones are released.

But then there’s the opposite. In those extreme moments of joy, I feel an unending burst of emotions. You know when you are so overwhelmed with exultation that your insides seem to be pushing outward. The joy came with the mere imagination of meeting my maker. O Lord Rama! Sometimes I feel that you are on your routine rounds of the city, and a crowd has gathered to catch a glimpse of you. I am looking at you through the sieve of the crowd as you appear as a tiny figurine among thousands of raised hands. But I have a feeling that you have seen me, and you are looking at me, and you have smiled.